I found out I was pregnant with my second baby when my son was a year old. An unplanned pregnancy but we decided to go ahead with it. I’m one of those mothers who had a fairly easy pregnancy and also ready to go ahead with the second, since I really really wanted another baby ;everything felt right. I was nervous, but happy.
6 weeks into my pregnancy one late evening I saw some blood spotting. I had a bad miserable feeling. We were at the hospital at around midnight, I was given a dose a progesterone injection and sent back home.
The next day I woke up with unbearable pain ,unable to walk and a cranky toddler . I had no clue what was going on! I was in tears. What I did not know was I was having a Miscarriage & that Injection caused excruciating pain. I was so naïve to so many things.
Who would tell us about all these! We are only told to have a baby. The cons of trying for a baby, No one ever speaks about. I was SHOCKED! Where did I go wrong? How can I have a Miscarriage? Why ME? Did I do Something BAD! So many questions, all unanswered.
Grateful my gynecologists explained in detail and told me it was natural. I had my first missed miscarriage. I was miserable but with my little boy, Life got back to normal. Within a year I conceived again. Sadly had another miscarriage at 12 Weeks Pregnancy, which was natural again; and then followed 2 more miscarriages for which I had to undergo DNC. I was broken and shattered
I’m now a mother of 2 boys, But a piece of me left with all the 4 babies I lost. Not a day goes by without thinking of my loss. For whatever reasons I’m still in pain. I haven’t laughed my heart out in a really long time. A tad bit of guilt lingers around too. I’m still figuring out how to deal with this. None of this was my mistake, but I was not prepared. Probably no one is ever prepared. I wasn’t the strong one. I still cry when I hear of a miscarriage.
What I wonder is, would I have dealt with it better, had I prepared/educated myself and known more about a miscarriage. It’s very common, but still not spoken about openly. Is it good for doctors to also warn us about miscarriages? I don’t know! Maybe a few of us would wouldn’t appreciate bringing up the topic because its such a bad thing. But the Reality is “IT IS NOT A BAD THING”. A mother needs to be prepared for a miscarriage as much as she is ready for pregnancy. Lets break the stigma and educate women about miscarriages as much as we try and prep them for motherhood.
Maybe its time we talk about it, without wondering if it would hurt sentiments. Lets educate each other. Break The STIGMA. Maybe this would cause less pain; Maybe a mother wouldn’t blame herself; And Maybe she wouldn’t loose herself.
Maybe….